


Do You Have A Best Buy Rewards Card?

by erialc_raeb



Series: Detroit: Become Human [6]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Best Buy, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Deviants (Detroit: Become Human), M/M, Not Beta Read, Oneshot, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), john mulaney bit, kid gorgeous, not beta read we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 05:49:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erialc_raeb/pseuds/erialc_raeb
Summary: Hank needs a new TV, and Connor is awkward with salespeople.





	Do You Have A Best Buy Rewards Card?

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally the John Mulaney bit and I have no shame :)

“Connor, I think we need a new TV.” Hank says one day. Connor looks at at where their current TV sits, Wiimote still stuck in it. Connor didn’t want to short circuit trying to take it out, and Hank just called it performance art and left it there.

They spent the next half an hour unplugging and taking the TV out to the car. “Hank you need to-” “Shut up Connor I know what I’m doing.” Hank cuts the android off for the upteenth time in the past ten minutes. He reaches to pull the Wiimote out but gets shocked in the process.

“Fuck!” Hank exclaims, pulling his hand back. Connor reaches behind the TV and unplugs it. He gives the Lieutenant a shit-eating grin as he tosses the plug aside. “Fuckin’ androids.” Hank mutters before extracting the now fried beyond repair Wiimote. The TV is dumped at a recycling center, and they head to the nearest Best Buy.

Once they get to the Best Buy, Hank scowls. “I hate this place, but I have a gift card from like 2018 that I need to use up. God knows how this place is still running.” He and Connor make their way inside where they are immediately greeted by an android employee, Jerry.

“Welcome to Best Buy! Can I help you make a purchase today?” Jerry asks cheerily. “A-Ah, no. We’re only here to-” “No thanks.” Hank cuts Connor off and drags him off to the television section.

“Walking around with you is exhausting. It’s like walking around with someone who’s running for Mayor of Nothing.” Hank rolls his eyes, knowing how Connor got with salespeople. “Sorry Hank, I get flustered.” Connor says sheepishly.

When they reach the television section, Hank scans the selections before picking one similar to the one he broke. He only turns his back to Connor for a second, that the android manages to wander off on his own. “Fuckin’, Connor!?” Hank shouts out, not caring who gave him a weird look. “Where the hell did you go!?”

Hank spots the top of Connor’s head a few isles down, so he leaves the TV section to see what he had gotten into. When Hank reached him, Connor was alone with a devastated look on his face.

“Connor? What happened kid?” Hank asked, looking to see what Connor held in his hands. “Hank, I am not good with salespeople. I just bought a charging cable to a phone I do not currently own.” “Con… How did that even happen?” Hank asked, taking the charger from Connor and looking it over.

“I’m not sure. Jerry came over and started talking about the cables, and I didn’t want to be rude so I picked one up by random and made the purchase.” Connor pouts. Hank only sighs. “Con, you’re a police detective. How are you this awkward with salespeople? Or just people in general?” Connor only frowns more.

Hank groans. “C’mon, let's go return this.” “But what about the TV?” Connor asks. “We’ll grab it on the way, it was too heavy for me to lift on my own.” Hank says, leading the android back to the previous isle.

Connor picks up the TV with ease and they make their way to the checkout. There wasn’t a line, so they didn’t have to wait at all. Connor set the TV down to be scanned. Hank fished out the gift card and some money and set it down on the counter.

“Do you have a Best Buy Rewards Card?” The Jerry asked. Before Hank could reply, Connor raised an arm. “No, but I wish!” He said, an awkward smile on his face. “Jesus Christ!” Hank walked away to stand all the way by the laser printers, Blair Witch style. He didn’t move, not wanting anyone to notice him.

Meanwhile Connor was still up at the register with an uncomfortable look on his face and arm raised up, frozen in place. Jerry looked shocked. “Do you want… A Best Buy Rewards card?” He almost looked hopeful. “...No.” Connor admitted, even though he had just said it was his greatest wish in life. That it was his greatest wish in life but is in an abusive marriage with Mr. Jesus Christ over there so he can’t ask for the things he wants in public but at home, at night, they’d argue about it.

When Hank gets back from the laser printers, Jerry finished checking them out. They return Connor’s mistake of a purchase, and finally leave Best Buy. Hank mocks Connor the whole way home.

“No, but I wish!” Hank laughs. “It wasn’t that funny!” Connor argues, pouting again. “God Con, I really can’t take you anywhere can I?” Hank smiles, earning a smile from Connor as well.

**Author's Note:**

> http://erialcraeb.tumblr.com/


End file.
